January 2010
14 posts
Dear cute boy at party last night,
You probably actually won’t be calling me because I spent so long telling you about how getting an iPhone changed my life, but how I’m like, totally not materialistic or anything, then I got distracted for 45 minutes, then I made fun of some girl for having dandruff. Bad first impression!
(this tumblr post sent from my iPhone)
FORECAST: 95% of my boyfriends w/in 2 decades →
Do you remember the elephant graveyard in The Lion King? Imagine that, but with umbrellas instead of elephants. NYC streets on a rainy day.
NY the bilingual city: Act I, in which I still...
guy in elevator: Hola
me: Hi
GIE: como estas?
me: urmmm…muy bien, gracias, y tu?
GIE: (something in Spanish I don’t understand)
me: heh…
A beat.
GIE: Something else in Spanish I don’t understand with intonation that suggests he is trying to start a conversation.
Me: Oh, umm, lo siento, no habla espanol.
GIE: (shakes head; then, in perfect English:) So are you new...
AHHH EVERY PERSON in new york city is HAPPY and BEAUTIFUL and IN LOVE EXCEPT ME DEAR GOD WHY WHY WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME THIS WORLD IS SO CRUEL
okay back to work now
Crisis
Whenever I’m home I get bored but whenever I’m at work I want to be home watching Family Guy eating ramen in bed.
Crackhead in Union Square yesterday, wearing massive weave, told me I had “great legs and great tones.” Then he showed me his sketchbook full of lewd drawings of penises and Asian girls he sees on the train. Then he gave me his home phone number and hotmail email address. I was too weak to resist the overtures! -A
metro card = new nyu id
Him: Hey baby, can I buy you a drink?
Her: Sorry, I have a boyfriend.
Him: Really? I have a goldfish.
Her: What?
Him: Oh sorry, I thought we were talking about shit that doesn't matter.
apartment life > dorm life > home life.
sex drugs and rock ‘n roll await us in our nycity girl lives in 2010!
“ooh, look at me, i’m alex! feminist wants to be a face-fucker, not a...”
– Jim Gallagher, truest judge of my character to have ever lived
"if you're 17, and you're not a total fry, it's...
Declared sick day yesterday and watched movies all day.
Drop Dead Gorgeous is a staple film for any such occasion. When little Lisa Swenson showed up, immeasurable grief. Like, distractingly sad. What a sweetheart! She just loved New York! Her parents only had her because Peter needed that kidney!
Too soon, Brittany Murphy.